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<title>the same old hesitation by seeingrightly</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497135">the same old hesitation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/seeingrightly/pseuds/seeingrightly'>seeingrightly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:08:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497135</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/seeingrightly/pseuds/seeingrightly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Richie, maybe, has been clinging to Eddie. He almost died, for fuck’s sake, but Richie pulled him out of It’s path, and he hasn’t fully let go yet. Eddie doesn’t seem to mind, thank god. They hold onto each other as they run away from It and then charge It, as they tear back out of Neibolt, as they jump into the water at the quarry, gripping one another’s arms, pulling each other along. </p>
<p>Walking back to the inn, their grimy clothes starting to dry uncomfortably, Richie puts his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, and Eddie leans into him. Then he shifts, his hand going to the waterlogged bandage on his cheek.</p>
<p>“You okay?” Richie asks.</p>
<p>“Uh,” Eddie says, and a little bit of blood dribbles out of his mouth.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>270</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the same old hesitation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/zach_stone/gifts">zach_stone</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is for aj, whose prompts were "cheek/forehead/nonmouth kisses," "adjusting one another’s clothing/appearance," and "asking out on a date," which were tricky to combine but i like what i ended up with and i hope you do too :*</p>
<p>i 100% forgot to address eddie's marriage in this so like. whatever. you can pretend he isn't married or that they talk about it later. i don't have it in me to address it anymore hjkdsfhsdf</p>
<p>title from "upside down" by a*teens lol</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Richie, maybe, has been clinging to Eddie. He almost died, for fuck’s sake, but Richie pulled him out of It’s path, and he hasn’t fully let go yet. Eddie doesn’t seem to mind, thank god. They hold onto each other as they run away from It and then charge It, as they tear back out of Neibolt, as they jump into the water at the quarry, gripping one another’s arms, pulling each other along. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walking back to the inn, their grimy clothes starting to dry uncomfortably, Richie puts his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, and Eddie leans into him. Then he shifts, his hand going to the waterlogged bandage on his cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?” Richie asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh,” Eddie says, and a little bit of blood dribbles out of his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He coughs, pulling away from Richie to lean over and spit more blood onto the ground. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and Richie rubs his back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, shit,” Bev says, guilt all over her face. “I told you I shouldn’t stitch it up -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no,” Eddie says, coughing and spitting again before he stands back up. “I think the stitches are okay, I just aggravated it by - you know, running around and yelling at a monster and - going in the water -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He retches and leans over again, putting his hands on his knees.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, come on,” Richie says. “When we get back we can clean it up, make sure the stitches are still holding it together, and put a new bandage on it. We went in the quarry with injuries all the time as kids and look at us now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean,” Ben says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We got a few infections from doing that,” Mike says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie retches again. When he stands back up, there’s a small amount of blood trailing down his chin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, you’ve got -” Richie says, and he reaches towards Eddie’s mouth, and for a hysterical moment he thinks it’s like a dark, twisted version of a romantic comedy moment, and then Eddie smacks his arm away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What were you gonna do, use your swampy sleeve to clean me off?” Eddie asks, leaning away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not swampy!” Richie says, laughing a little and shaking himself out of whatever that moment was. “Christ, Eds, whatever’s on me and my sleeve is already on you anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie pauses with his hand an inch away from his chin, shudders, and then quickly wipes the blood away anyway. When Richie reaches out, Eddie still lets himself be tucked back into his side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they were kids, Eddie was always their doctor. Of course he was - he knew how to treat anything that could happen to them, and he was bossy as hell. That meant Richie knew how to treat whatever he saw Eddie treat, because he always paid attention to Eddie. And he was the one to step in when it was Eddie who got a scrape or whatever, because he knew how to take care of it to Eddie’s satisfaction, and because it meant he had an excuse to touch Eddie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they reach the inn, Bev follows the two of them up to Eddie’s room, hovering in the doorway as Eddie heads over to the dresser. There’s a whole first aid kit spread out there, and a pile of bloody towels and tissues in the trash can, plopped in the middle of the floor nearby. Eddie peels the dirty bandage off his face and leans toward the mirror, grimacing. Bev grimaces too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me see,” Richie says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moves in close, puts his hand near Eddie’s face but doesn’t actually touch him. He kind of regrets getting so close once he’s done it, but it’s too late for that. The stitches are all still intact. There’s some blood on his cheek, and Eddie will probably have a gnarly little scar, but it will heal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not bad for a rush job, Marsh,” Richie says, putting on a smarmy British accent, then dropping it when he continues, “No, really, it looks good. Just needs to be cleaned up. And for Eddie to be quiet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Eddie says in a defeated tone that means he knows it’s at least a little true. “Thanks, Bev. Hey, you can go shower and get changed. Get some rest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turns to the first aid kit and starts pulling out supplies as Bev leaves. After a second, he looks over at Richie, like maybe he’s not sure why he’s still there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Richie says, immediately embarrassed. “I just thought -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something in Eddie’s expression immediately softens, but then he covers it up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You just want to do the British guy,” he accuses, but he’s smiling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Richie says quickly. “Scout’s honor or whatever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie huffs out a laugh and gestures at the supplies, so Richie steps closer. He’s careful, so careful, when he washes away the blood and disinfects the wound, Eddie hissing a little. When they were kids, Richie would make a show of doing this, but he’d also make sure to properly clean and bandage Eddie’s injury, and make sure not to let his hands linger, which he does now too. Sometimes, if he could get away with it, he’d draw a smiley face on the bandage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they were really young, as part of his showmanship, Richie would sometimes kiss the bandage once he pressed it into place. Dramatically, of course, so over-the-top that no one could ever take it seriously. He stopped doing that part once he realized how much he wanted to do it - once he realized he was the one taking it seriously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, though, Richie tries to just focus on folding the bandage into a perfect square, on taping it down neatly. He tries not to think about any of that, or about how close together they are, or about the shadow of Eddie’s eyelashes against his cheek as he watches Richie’s hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Richie says when he’s done, stepping away. “How’s it look, Dr. K?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie leans closer to the mirror again, poking at the bandage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure the stitches look okay?” he asks, glancing briefly at the empty doorway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, man,” Richie says. “Bev did a better job than she thinks. I think she put in more stitches than she needed to and that’s why it held. Like, way more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah, I told her to do that,” Eddie says, looking a little guilty. “I figured things would only get rougher after - Bowers. I didn’t wanna tell her that though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fair,” Richie laughs. “You got any clue how that could affect the healing? The extra stitches?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, and we’re not gonna think about that,” Eddie says, falsely breezy, starting to pack up his first aid kit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Richie laughs again, then realizes he’s kind of hovering unnecessarily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, alright, I’ll just, uh, leave you to it,” he says, doing something just shy of finger gunning and then cringing a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Eddie says. “Yeah, we both need to shower and get changed too, huh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” Richie agrees, and then he leaves and heads into his own room, and then he feels like he’s going to throw up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t. He manages to shower and put on new clothes without having a full anxiety attack or puking or anything. It’s a lot of different things but he thinks, mainly, it’s being separated from his friends after all everything. It’s not having Eddie under his hands anymore - proof that Eddie didn’t get impaled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s just kind of sitting on his bed focusing on not throwing up or having an anxiety attack when there’s a thump on the wall between his and Eddie’s rooms, and then another, like Eddie is kicking it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Rich!” he yells, and Richie sprints out of his room, terrified that somehow Bowers is back, or It, and he barges into Eddie’s room -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Eddie is standing there trapped inside a clean shirt, his arms over his head, much of his torso on display. Whatever Richie was about to yell dies in his throat and comes out very, very weird.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?” Eddie says. “Can you fuckin’ help me out, bro? The bandage kinda started to melt off in the shower and now it’s stuck to my shirt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, shit,” Richie says, moving forward quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a bit of work and a lot of reaching places he does and doesn’t want to reach, but he gets Eddie untangled and unstuck and helps pull his shirt down and remove the bandage entirely. He wants to fix Eddie’s hair, too, but he doesn’t. Eddie looks at him for a long time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanna -” Eddie starts to ask, gesturing to his cheek, and Richie is surprised, but he nods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He disinfects the wound again, though it’s probably not necessary, and then he bandages it once more, his fingers so careful on Eddie’s cheek. He knows he’s being uncharacteristically quiet, that Eddie is watching him carefully, probably wondering why, but the sight of Eddie’s bare torso spooked him. He’s pressing down the corners of the tape one last time when Eddie spooks him again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know what I keep thinking about?” Eddie asks, his voice weirdly gentle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Richie wants to look at him, but he can’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When you used to do this when we were kids,” Eddie says. “And you would give me a kiss once you were done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Richie drops his fingers from Eddie’s cheek. He’s going to panic; he can feel it starting to build. He needs to play it off somehow, to laugh, to change the topic -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rich,” Eddie says, even more gently than before. “I could have died today. We all could have. I don’t want to pretend anymore like I wasn’t disappointed when you stopped kissing me after you took care of me. I don’t want to pretend like I don’t want you to do it now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Richie says, blinking. “You - I - oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Richie,” Eddie says, concerned now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanted -” Richie says. “Back then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He feels like his brain is going to melt out of his ears, maybe. He feels a little unsteady, and he reaches out like he’s going to grab onto something, and the only thing nearby is Eddie, who steps closer and fits his arms under Richie’s hands, placing his own hands on Richie’s waist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Back then,” Eddie says. “I didn’t fully understand it, but I wanted you. All along. I understood as soon as I remembered you, though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you still -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I still want you,” Eddie says, more patiently than Richie has ever heard him. “I know we live on different sides of the country now, but can I take you on a date? Not in Derry. Somewhere else.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Somewhere else,” Richie repeats, even though he knows that’s not the important part. “I - yeah. This is harder for my brain to digest than all the repressed memories. The whole time, Eds?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The whole time. Was that a ‘yeah’ to the date? You could have been a little clearer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There - that snaps Richie back to reality. The attitude. He laughs, tightening his grip on Eddie’s arms. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens his eyes, he leans forward and presses a careful kiss to the bandage on Eddie’s cheek. Eddie’s arms slip around his waist, and they stay close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a yes,” Richie says, pressing his cheek to Eddie’s hair. “Sorry. I’ll be clearer next time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We haven’t even had our first date and you think there’s gonna be a next time?” Eddie asks. “Wow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eddie, buddy, we’ve been on about 400 dates,” Richie says. “We just never called ‘em that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s fair,” Eddie says after a second. “Where do you want to go on our 401st date?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can this be our date?” Richie asks. “Hugging and wound care and maybe a nap?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I said not in Derry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Richie says, pouting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But we can still take a nap,” Eddie says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, good,” Richie says, and he leans in to kiss Eddie’s cheek again, because he doesn’t have to pretend not to want to anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know you can kiss other parts of me,” Eddie says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I?” Richie asks, and at first he’s joking, but then he’s very much not. “Wait, is that safe? Dude, we really probably can’t do much kissing for a while. Wow, that’s shitty timing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry,” Eddie says. “Next time I’ll confess my feelings to you before I get stabbed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d appreciate it,” Richie says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think we need to not kiss at all,” Eddie adds after a second.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, good,” Richie says quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, so gently, the way he’s only ever been with Eddie, Richie presses their lips together. It’s light and it’s brief and it’s the best kiss Richie’s ever had. He thinks they all will be.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>find me on twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/coralbluenmbr5">coralbluenmbr5</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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